As of writing this I have now been in Halifax for 6 hours. Got off the plane my parents drove me into town and I walked from the west end to downtown, through the waterfront, rested at the library and went home to write this. I’ll be putting out a blog post of my thoughts on Halifax everyday while I’m here. My first impressions of walking into my house were queer and set the tone for the rest of the day. Feeling like my own parents home was in fact a home away from home was something I never really felt before, I moved out of my parents place before moving to Corner Brook but since I always kept in contact and came over all of the time I never went too long without seeing the furniture, or the walls, or the changes in the plants. Having all of these subtle changes be realized all at once is both eye opening because it made me realize how long I’ve been gone, (only 9 months) and slightly disorienting. Like waking up one morning and realizing the walls were really painted beige when you were absolutely certain that they were white.
After having walked all around the downtown and waterfront area I feel a certain kind of nostalgia, not the warm and fuzzy kind but like the taste of stale candy that you’ve been craving for some time. All of the students have moved in town and are out in full force. I feel small, I feel insignificant. The people at the coffee shop are nice to me but I don’t feel that same kind of familial comfort like I do in Corner Brook. Nobody says hi to me as I walk by and I don’t say hi to anyone else. The city lacks the kind of warmth that I’m used to. I feel both back at home and homogenized into one large goop of twenty something students that are all trying to find out who they are and working towards their own path in life. In Corner Brook I feel like I’m a part of a small community where everyone knows and looks out for each other. Here I feel like nothing I do matters, a kind of communal nihilism. I have a theory that this is what contributes to the homeless issue here in Halifax but I’ve digressed enough from the purpose of this diary post.
Tomorrow I’ll have some less cynical observations for you so stay tuned. I’m don’t really feel cynical about everything, there’s lots that I enjoyed. I just felt I needed to get these gripes off my chest before really diving into what I like about Halifax.